Check out my comment on Erica Manfred’s article “Why Haven’t I Moved On Yet?” featured on the Huffington Post and posted below: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/erica-manfred/why-havent-i-moved-on-yet_b_914526.html
Erica, great article, thank you for sharing and helping others get through divorce and onward to the other side.
I know you write for women but these are universal truths. As you all know, divorce has a beginning, middle, and end. The middle is a difficult ride. I like the way you describe the emotional tumult of divorce. It’s like a series of emotional tsunamis that run through you, take you over and leave you washed out. The tsunami could be:
- Will anyone ever love me again?
- Will I have enough money?
- Will my children be okay?
- Do I have the right lawyer?
- I can’t believe he’s happy.
- I’ve got to lose weight now, no one is looking at me.
- I’m so lonely.
A tidal wave can be devastating, but it does come and go.
Damage is done and then it is over. The important thing to remember, as you nicely state, is that you will get to the other side. In my book series, The Intelligent Divorce, I urge people not to make important decisions when they are overwhelmed by these dramatic and traumatic moments of a divorce. Try not to make important decisions when you feel badly. It is more important to make the intelligent choice than to make dangerously irrational ones. And years later when you are better and on the other side of the divorce, you will be happy that you made intelligent decisions, like choosing against intentionally angering your ex spouse with the wrong motives in mind, or engaging your children in destructive parenting that they will have to live with down the road.
Thank you for this post. I think it was very useful.