Intimacy is a field, much like an energy field in physics: You are in one state before you enter, but once inside, reality changes—both for the better and for the worse.  Many avoid the power of this field; and some can’t live without it. Physics has its space-time continuum. Falling in love places you in a feeling-time continuum that blends the past and the present with the future.

It’s potent—and it draws its source from a magical experience in time.

Just as great rivers have their sources, so too does intimacy. To sense intimacy’s power and its field, turn your attention to life’s original intimate relationship in early childhood. This is where many answers to the pleasure and the anguish of love can be found.

Adult Love & Infant Love: Love, as adults, is the love of adults—and the love of an infant for his or her mother is just that.  However, our early memories are influential. When we fall in love, we dip back into our early memories in order to use them as a vehicle for adult experience. This is important, because each of us has a personal history of being loved (or not) and held (or not); of being cuddled (or not) and supported (or not). Trust, intimacy, vulnerability and all that goes into adult love has its roots in these first moments of parent-child love. We cannot escape our past. Nor should we really want to.

Do you withdraw too easily? Do you anger without warning or put walls up?  Do you fear losing?   Having a lover means that vulnerability is re-awakened—hopefully for the good.

Does your lover, husband or wife have trouble with closeness, sex or rage? Do they worry too much? Do certain words and situations trigger intense hurt or anger?