The following image is what The Intelligent Divorce: Taking Care of Yourself, proposes for you: balance and a clear identity.

By taking charge of your life, you’re more likely to be healthy and happy, and your kids will follow suit.

I admit that this isn’t easy. But once you get started, you can begin a positive feedback loop—one that continues to yield returns. The better care you take of yourself, the more likely you will feel good and continue to take good care of yourself. The more your children feel parented in a solid way, the easier it will be to parent them next time. Goodwill counts for a lot with kids. Trust with your ex-husband or wife leads to more trust and better co-parenting. And setting good limits, when required, lets a difficult ex know that they have to think twice before misbehaving.

One parent can make a difference, and your good decisions work for everyone.